I feel motivated. I’m really a lazy sob and to get me motivated takes energy. Not that I abhor hard work, but that I’ll dick around for a year and a day before doing anything. Now I’m thinking about my anger today, and I’m thinking of how to release it in anything less than atomic form.I’m thinking about this and then I realize that I already know. Is the same thing I do any time I get angry. I’m going to take care of business. I’m going to effect positive change in my world.
It’s only when I my rage I’d subliminally into a murderous Zen that I feel okay with not verifying that things well work right. As I write, I realize that it’s probably what destroyed my creativity, it’s not I’m happier, though I am, it’s that I have less gallant indifference. I care if stuff works. I want my shit to be tight. But when I’m angry, hell, I’ve ripped out all the cabinets I a kitchen because I couldn’t reach something. I painted my bathroom the color of drying blood, because it felt right.
[To clarify, I still am 100% non-violent]
Maybe I need to be angry more. Maybe I need to release my anger more.
[Other quick aside, as bad as this and the last post almost definitely sound, I don’t blame anyone else fire my anger. That’s all me. I also don’t blame anyone for the dry spots of my creativity. This is another example of me looking at myself in a, at least I feel it is, objective manner. This introspection, by nature tangentially touches on other souls, and this is not a condemnation of them. Thank you, and good speed.]