I was going to start by taking about how I think I have Imposter Syndrome. Reading over that article I don’t think I do. While I’m high functioning, I’m not exactly high achieving. I don’t think puerile will find me out. I don’t have to chive myself prep talks about my success.
I feel like I have a very wide skill set. The way that I’m confused though is the depth. In my youth I believed other people knew what they were doing. They had some knowledge I was lacking. With age, this disconnect has slowly improved, but only on that I don’t assume they know what they’re doing, just that they know things I don’t.
It’s the plumber situation. I could hire a plumber. If I do, they get paid a lot to do what that had been trained to do. If I do this, their prior (and probably flawed) knowledge is rewarded by me. Or, I could read up and do it myself. If I do it myself, I’m out the cost of research, a larger supply of tools, time, and materials. The first time will be a loss leader. The second time though, I’ll make back in spades. Every time I’ll get better and faster.
Right now I’m building an Excel file that will export a CSV file that program can use to merge a stack of PDFs. Everything is working good (with a liberal dose of Stackoverflow, pro tip: Google Excel VBA whatever you want to do), but the files aren’t popping. I think I finally figured it out, but this is after talking it through with sine knowledgeable people. I’d this a symptom of an incomplete education? Should I have routed this question to someone else entirely? Did I finally reach my Peter Principle Plateau?
I just don’t know the answer to this kind of stuff somedays. It’s not that I’m a fake. It’s more that I’m a mental Lenny from Off Mice and Men. I don’t know when I’m about to crush it.