Terrible idea, but done to fruition. Hammered down beer cap, drilled holes through using the horn itself as a guide, bent staples as fasteners.
Now I need to find the bolts, and glue one on.
Future improvements, assuming I don’t rework the while idea:
Build a jig for the drill holes.
Add a bit rather than superglue.
Maybe if I ever start a company it’s trademarked slogan should be “janky”.